After mulling over my options for a solution to my sleeve dilemma, I came to realize that there are no winners when it comes to fighting the knitting gods (they beat me up, but I always come back).
All I can do is take it in the chin, suck it up and start again. But in my heart I wanted to be victorious, so I did what I had to do. The shortest road to victory is the straight road.
To that end, my solution was this - meet the twins, formerly known as sleeves:
My decision wasn't easy, but it boiled down to a picture of my former sleeves or pictures of my scalp with chunks of hair missing.
Why is there never a Madeleine around when you need one?